The Holidays

Yet again it has been forever since I have written. Although I have gotten a new job since, and the holidays, well we all know how those can just take you away. This year me, my son, and my parents did something new. We went to the Polar Express in Williams AZ. It was so much fun. Not only did my son completely love it, it made my holiday. I hadn't felt much like it was Christmas time. It snowed while we were there and I think that was the trick. Sometimes living in the desert is hard because we don't get snow here. While the practical side of me says that is a good thing, I know that it effects my "Christmas spirit".

Well today I am going to hang out with my best friends baby. I love hanging with him because he is super adorable.

Couch to 5k - Day 1

Ok so I was working out and doing a good job of it. I had a rhythm going and everything was good. I was losing weight, 20 pounds or so, so far. Then Clayton's school started... and my school started... and let's just say that the last couple of weeks has been extremely hectic. The class that I was taking three days a week I can no longer go to on Mondays and Wednesdays because of my son's school and sleep schedule. (He goes to bed at 7:30 on school nights). So wow. I knew that I didn't want to just go back to the gym without a plan. So I had heard about this program that my friend was doing called Couch to 5k. It is a workout plan to take you from the couch to running a 5k. She loves it and she is now able to run 5k! So I thought, what the hell right? Oh and my friend that started this program has lost 15 pounds and she didn't have as much to lose as I do.

I started the program today. The program has you workout three days a week, alternating between brisk walking and running. For the first week you start with a five minute walk, then run for 60 seconds, then back to walking for 90 seconds. You repeat this several times, then finish off with a cool down walk for 5 minutes. My friend did the program timing herself. She had found however a podcast that cues you when to walk and when to run. There are several different ones with different music. Most of them have techno, and I hate techno. My friend also found one with Hip Hop and Rap music, which is awesome. So far so good! I am going back for Day 2 on Wednesday. So I plan on (fingers crossed) posting my progress on here. So who knows, the girl who said that she would never run, might actually do it!

Sick Day and Patti's Baby Shower

Not feeling good today. I have been running a fever all day. I haven't developed any other symptoms yet. Just fever and feeling like I was hit by a mac truck. I spent the entire day sleeping. I finally figured that I should get upright and try to stay awake for a while. I hate being sick. The good news is that my immune system is pretty good and usually I fight these things off in 24 hours. I am pretty sad that I missed my Zumba class tonight. It would have been nice. Oh well.

So, Patti's baby shower was yesterday. The whole thing was really weird. I probably feel that way because I was going to host it, until her sister threw a shit fit and took it over from me. The two bits that I passed on to her sister for the shower were the theme and that Patti did not want to play a bunch of stupid games. She took only one of those bits. She took the theme that Patti wanted, but we played like six or seven games. I hate, and so does Patti, the stupid little games that get played at Baby showers. Other than that, I guess that it went ok. Her sister invited some weird people, but they all brought gifts for Patti, and that is good. One other thing that happened was that Kelena didn't show. She didn't call either. That probably means that she will have some sob story about being sick or something. The least that she could have done was call. I know that Patti was really disappointed.

Well I am going to lay back down and hopefully feel better.

Almost there!

I am now down a total of six pounds! Only two more pounds and I will have reached a critical goal. I am hoping that by this time next week I will be under 200 pounds for good. Never to come back on a scale, ever. I will be super excited by the way for that day. I have not been under 200 in years. I still have a long ways to go after the under 200 goal, my total goal is 150. But it will be a huge step in the right direction. So far, reintroducing a few carbs hasn't stopped my weight loss. I am going to keep the servings of fruit and bread down to one serving a day. Yesterday I had five strawberries with breakfast and one piece of bread with dinner. That is the only difference in the diet that I have been on. Here's to hoping that it continues to work!!

Welcome back carbs!

I have decided to introduce a small amount of carb like substances back to my diet. I am going back to my whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta and I also bought whole wheat English muffins. I am going to limit the amount at first to one serving a day, then maybe up to two after a week. I am also reintroducing fruit to my diet. I bought strawberries and cantaloupe today. I am going to reintroduce these things slowly... but I don't what to go without them again. I am going to try and make sure that veggies are the star of every meal. If I don't continue to lose weight I might jump off a cliff. I don't understand how completely changing my diet to veggies, lean meats, healthy fats, low amounts of whole wheat and fruits will continue to my fatness.... we shall see.

Stir Fry

So my diet is extremely limited right now on South Beach. I got frustrated the other night and decided to experiment. I have discovered the best freaking stir fry ever. It is so delicious. It is shrimp, chicken, red bell pepper, and green bell pepper. It is one of the best damn things I have ever come up with in the kitchen!

I took Zumba again tonight and I met a girl there that has been doing Zumba three nights a week since April. She has lost 30 pounds!! That is freakin awesome. She said that she hasn't changed anything else. So here's to hoping that if I keep dieting and exercising that I will have just as good results in two months!! So the total off so far is 4 pounds. I am hoping to take off a total of 50. I am hoping that next summer I can wear a swimsuit without feeling like a whale. Here's to hoping!!

My ex is a rube.

So today I had another day of South Beach dieting and Zumba. I totally love this class. So much fun. That is not why I write night though.

It's my ex. See he hasn't paid me any child support since May. Before that I hadn't gotten any since February. Total BS. It's the seventh month of the year and he had paid me only three times. To top it all off he isn't planning on paying me until September or October. AND he never, and I mean never, buys anything for my son. Not a shirt, not a haircut, no shoes.... nothing. The really shitty thing? I can't do anything about it. Not one damn thing. I have already asked the courts to uphold the child support order, but they can't do anything to enforce it. AND I have to pay them $300 for essentially nothing. I have submitted a request with the state to enforce my child support, but the AG's office is totally backed up and who knows when they will get to me. I can't withhold visitation with Clay because it is against our agreement, and it would punish Clay for his father's mistakes. I have no figgin clue what to do. I can't continue to support my son by myself, and I can't make him pay. All I can think of is to bitch at him on occasion and make him feel terrible. Anyone have any ideas?

One more pound gone!!!

Just had to post a quick note... I climbed on the scale this morning, I always do it in the morning, and I am down another pound! That brings the total to 4 pounds. Woot Woot!

Day off

So today I decided to take the day off exercise today. I just could not get the energy up to do it. I am a bit sore after Zumba yesterday. It is really really fun though. I am going to do the class again tomorrow. My friend S and I are going to take the class tomorrow. I will be interested to see how she feels about the class. She takes hip hop classes and she is also doing the Pole fitness classes. (And yes, she is a skinny bitch..)

Other than that I am hoping that everything turns out ok in Oakland. My brother lives there and they have some shit going down there today. My thoughts are with you bro!

I am so tired of the Lebron James coverage. Seriously, I don't care, get off my T.V.!

Zumba

I took a Zumba class today and it freakin rocked. I loved it!!! I am going to become one of those nuts that has to go to Zumba twice a week. It was so fun and it is the only hour long class that I have taken that I could finish. I know that all my work with the treadmill and arc trainer helps with my stamina. But it was fun and I wasn't watching the clock going, "Good God when is this going to be over". I highly recommend it. I am so hoping that by the end of my two weeks with the Phase 1 of South Beach that I can be down another 4 pounds.

By the way I am a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance. I am totally heartbroken that Alex might have a ruptured Achilles Tendon. I can't tell you how upset I am about that. He has been a favorite of mine since he auditioned in Season 5. If it is a ruptured tendon, I hope that they let him back on for the next season, if he is healed. All my thoughts go out to him.

Stupid freakin state government!!!!

So the state is no longer funding all day kinder in elementary school. The schools are moving to a fee based structure. All day kinder at my son's school now costs $800 per student per year. I hate it, but there was nothing that I could do to change that. Then I found out that only four students have not enrolled for all day Kinder. I decided that is not acceptable. I am trying to get funding now for scholarships for the remaining students who can't afford it. I am really not happy with the concept of the poor students getting less education. Really REALLY not happy with it. I am the interim president of the Booster club for the summer. I have decided that if I am going to have to be the interim president, that I am going to scratch my itch. Getting the $3,200 is a whole 'nother ball of wax. I made some phone calls today and had two strike outs. I am going to keep trying. I do not understand how people think it is ok to leave four students out, just because their parents can't afford to make an $800 payment. I just need to find the right group to pitch to. I need ideas and they are not coming.

Tires, Diet and workouts.....

So I have been putting off buying new tires for my vehicle for as long as I could. I paid for that decision on Saturday night. I went to my cousins house to hang out and watch a movie. When I went in the tire was fine, when I came out, it was completely flat, at 12 midnight the night before the 4th of July. I had to call AAA to come and put the spare that had been flat before on my car. The stupid bitch from AAA put my location in wrong, so that when, 45 minutes later, the tow company they contacted couldn't help me cause I was outside of their area. So, to make a long story short, I finally made it home two hours after I first called AAA. The next day I got tires, but after a long drawn out process. But I feel so much better now that I have new shoes on the van. It makes me feel better to have Clay in the car.

My diet has finally started to work. Which it damn well should because I am eating no bread and no fruit. The available things for me to eat fit on one page. Mostly vegetables and lean meats. The good news is that this stage lasts for only two weeks. So far I am down two pounds.

I worked out like four times this last week. Not as good as I should, but ok. My friend Sara and I went to Yoga on Saturday morning and while I found it relaxing and wonderful, my friend Sara hated it. She came out feeling like she needed to "eat four hamburgers to wash off the hippie stink". I found it funny how much she hated it.

Weight loss - not losing it

Ug. I have been working out for weeks now. Nothing. Been dieting too... nothing. Not one pound. Ug. I was just eating better, you know, more fresh fruit, more veggies, no fast food, no dessert. I do cardio now at least 5 days a week.

I don't know why no weight loss, but I have decided to change things up. I started South Beach today. The new plan involves lots and lots of veggies, lean meats and low fat dairy... oh and nuts too. No fruit and no bread for the first two weeks. If I do that and workout, maybe then I can lose at lease one pound.

So this might be boring, but I am going to keep a list of my workouts and what I ate on here. Here it goes...

Workout - 30 minutes walking on the treadmill - 170 calories burned and
- 18 minutes on the Arc trainer - 175 calories burned.
Total calories burned - 345

Breakfast
6 ounces of low sodium V-8
Three eggs with one slice of low fat cheddar melted in and cut up tomatoes
Coffee

Pre-lunch snack
2 Tbsp of Peanut butter
5 pieces of celery

Lunch
Romaine salad with Tomato, Almonds, Low fat Asian dressing and Chicken

Afternoon snack
1/2 cup of Low fat Cottage Cheese

Dinner
1 Chicken Breast
Black beans
Sliced Cucumber with Low fat Ranch

Here's to hoping this freakin works.

School involvement

So, I have spent the last year fighting the good fight in the Booster Club at my son's school. Donating my time selling snacks, going to meetings and generally being very involved. There were a bunch of parents involved that I came to respect. Recently however, the whole thing has blown up. All of the parents that are involved now are out next year. They are all moving their children to other schools. And now, when I have tried to move to represent parents in the Site Counsel, I was shot down. As much as that sucks, the parents elected a parent that has no fucking clue what she is talking about.... ever. I would rather beat her face in than listen to her stupidity. So I have decided that I am out. I am going to stop spending my time in this arena. If I have time to donate, it will go to the library, the classroom or somewhere else. I hate the politics and the drama. My life is hard enough and I don't need to waste my time at meetings arguing with people.

One of the funniest comericals ever...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDcWRUtrVuc

Sometimes parenting blows....

So today after I picked Clayton up from school we came home and started watching the new series Life. The series is totally awesome, but I digress. Clayton took an orange soda into the living room and proceeded to spill it everywhere. Like half of one of those 20 oz bottles. Ug. So then I got down to clean it up and use my carpet spray and I discovered that I didn't have enough. So then we had to run to Kmart and buy more spray and run back home before it dried and completely ruined the carpet. After it was all cleaned up we both laid down and took a nap. We woke up and I made dinner. I made Clayton his favorite dinner, shrimp pasta. He sat down and took two bites and told me that he wanted to lay down. About ten minutes later he got sick all over my couch. Ug. Between the soda and the sick, my living room had a really hard day. I think I have scrubbed more today than I have in years. Here's to hoping that Clay doesn't get sick again. He is in bed now and hopefully he gets a lot of rest and kicks whatever he has.

Other than that today was a better day because it was my short day from work. I just wish that I hadn't spent most of the afternoon scrubbing. It was nice not to be at the office all day today. I am getting seriously sick of that dude at work. Today he asked me how my "husband" was. He knows that I am divorced. I said my ex is doing fine. Then for some strange ass reason he asked me where we went on our honeymoon. What kind of weirdo asks someone who is now divorced where they went on their honeymoon? I can't wait until he is gone. Well I am going to go check on my little man now. Here's to hoping that he doesn't get sick again.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

If my name was Jack, I would be pretty dull. I have been working so much lately. This tax season is kicking our ass more than usual. We have a temp working in our office. This guy is super annoying however. He is creepy in that used car salesman way. He makes me uncomfortable, not in an "oh my God he is going to kill me" way but more in an "eeewww don't talk to me way". He argues with the other professional in the office, even though he doesn't know what he is talking about. He is constantly leaving the lid of the copier up and he sighs all the damn time. So work isn't even a comfortable place to be. I am going to be so glad in 17 days when tax season is over.

Well I need to hit the bed, but I have a bunch of stuff to catch up on in this blog... like the fact that my best friend is preggo and found out today that she is having a boy!

Playing solitare

Urg. Been working a lot lately. This next weekend is my ex's weekend with my son and I would love to go out and do something fun. The only problem is that I have allowed my circle of friends to get so damn small that I have no one to go out with. My friends either don't go out, or they are too tired to go anywhere. I think that is the most bothersome part of being single. I wind up staying home alone because I don't have anyone. Literally.

On a lighter note, I flipped some people off today. There were a bunch of right wing assholes standing on the side of the road protesting, “Obama care”. I figured since they felt like they could stand on the side of the road and push their political beliefs in my face, that I had every right to flip them off. I might be wrong, but I really don't care.

I'm baaack...

So it has been awhile since I have posted anything on here. I have been a bit busy. We had to fire someone at work and it totally screwed up this tax season. It has been good for me though. I basically got a promotion and a raise at work. While that is nice, I have to spend every moment that I don't have my son at work. Between work and school I have been really super busy and very tired.

The stupid damn water company that my grandfather left my dad has been driving us all up the wall. We have had two major leaks in the last month. My poor dad has been standing in holes scooping muddy water out. I swear that every time that something happens with the water company, it takes six months off my dad's life. We have been trying to sell the water company to the City for years. They have not moved forward with it. They either need to proceed with the sale or let it go. It is killing my parents.

To top it all off my ex has been a mega ass lately. He thinks that he can lose the things that I buy for my son and that I will be ok with it and that I will just turn around and replace it without a cross word. He has now lost two jackets that I bought for Clay this winter. He just expects me to replace them. Ass.

The one bit of good news is that Clay is doing much much better at school. I have him in counseling and that has been working wonders. He is getting older too, which helps because he is better able to explain when things that make him mad. We are working on it, and now that I have some professional help with parenting issues, I feel more calm.

I am going to try and post everyday now, at least with some goofy anecdote from that day.

Day from Hell

My God today blew. I am so tired and frustrated. To start, my son got a red star (he has a star system at school for behavior orange – great, yellow – one bad deed, red – two bad deeds, and finally blue – a trip to the principals office). I talked to his teacher this morning before school about why he got a red star the day before. She basically implied that my son is manipulating people trying to get them to do his work for him and he is being lazy and trying to use excuses to get out of doing his work. Well this semester at school they are training the kids to be responsible. So his teacher is not accepting any excuses. If you don't do your work, you get in trouble. So I told Clay that he had to do what his teacher told him to, everything his teacher told him to do. Then I left for work.
I got to work and that is a total mess right now. We are going paperless now, and our new storage software was just installed on my computer yesterday. I have no clue how it works, but I need to figure it out. So I spent all morning trudging through complicated software while still trying to get work done. I don't have time now to experiment with the system because I have to produce 1099's and W-2's for clients. So far I have only received one set of 1099's. I have to produce all of the 1099's and W-2's before the 29th of January. So needless to say I am under a bit of a time crunch that I can't control, and now I have to push out work quickly in new software that I don't understand yet. When I left work I was frustrated and upset.
Then I got to school. Clayton got a red star again today. Again he didn't do his work like he was supposed to. Not only that today he told the teacher that he can't concentrate and he can't get his thoughts out of his head. Great. Now he has been recommended for evaluation with the school physiologist. I told his teacher this afternoon that there is nothing wrong with my son mentally, he is just being an entitled whiny brat. He can do the work, in-fact it isn't even difficult for him. He just doesn't want to. So the day before my son's 6th birthday I had to ground him. No TV all day and then he had to help me clean the van, do laundry, and I made him sit down and do the assignment that he didn't do in class.
To top it all off, I have my son's birthday party on Saturday, and honestly I don't want to have it. I know that is really harsh, which is why I am not going to cancel it. But I can tell you, that I won't be having a party next year unless he deserves it. At this rate, he will be lucky to watch any TV ever again.
There are times in my life, like today, when I feel like I have way to friggin much on my plate. Times like this I feel very alone.

Walls and luggage

So another day. I have not exercised yet today and I missed yesterday. However I have exercised five days this week which I guess is acceptable. I am just apprehensive about not exercising because if I give myself an excuse for one day, then it turns into two, then four, then I quit. It is a slippery slope. I have been doing well on my diet. Let me tell you though, the Alli pills are not for the faint of heart. They actually work. The side effects are not pleasant, so I recommend that if you are not planning on eating a low fat diet, DO NOT take them. It is a nice reminder when the side effects take place, that you have eaten too much fat. I hope my plan works this time. I really am tired of being overweight. Yesterday while at the mall with my son, he started to sing “chunky chunky mommy”. I can't lecture him on it too much because, well, it is the truth. I just tell him that it is not nice to point things out about people that they might be embarrassed about.
Not only that but I think that I have been using my weight as a shield. I have not been interested in dating since the break-up of my last relationship and the weight keeps men at bay. I don't think that mentally and obviously physically it is healthy. If I don't want to date that is my decision. I don't think that I should be building walls however. That can lead to difficulty taking them down when I do decide that I am ready. I already have many things that can make relationships difficult and I don't need to be adding resentment and walls into my luggage.
Today we (my parents and I) are taking my son to his first U of A basketball game. He went to a football game at the beginning of the season. He got bored in the first quarter. I can't say I blame him. Football is a fairly slow game, with big spurts that usually he can't see because people stand up. Basketball is a faster moving game and it might hold his attention longer. We will see.

Totally embarrassing....

So today I baby sat for a friend of mine at work. Her son is four. My son is six, so I thought that they would have a good time playing together. Ha! Get this, it wasn't the four year old that was away from his parents who cried all the time... it was my son. So embarrassing. The four year old is calm and wonderful. He speaks wonderfully and never raised his voice. My son was trying to boss him around and when I told him to knock it off, he got really nasty. He started screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs. At 7:30 I had enough and I sent him to bed. I feel like I lost some secret kid lotto.

Losing and gaining

Hoorah for getting advances on paychecks. Fortunately my employer is nice and allows us to get advances. I went to the grocery store and bought good food today. I got some good deals on vegetables. I was out of salad stuff, which is one of my favorite things to eat when I am dieting. I am going to try to move away from processed foods. I have found before that the more natural I go with the foods the more success I have with dieting.
I have not yet exercised today. I am trying to decide if I should ride the bike today or do my balance ball work out. I probably should try to vary my workouts as much as possible. I need to work on my abs quite a bit. Well I am off to try and work off those lbs!

Weight loss and poverty

Today I rode my bike for a half an hour or so. It feels good once my knees loosen up. At first when I start out they feel stiff and like they are going to pop. If I push through the feeling they loosen up and actually feel better for a couple of hours. I need the physical exercise for my joints as much as I do for the weight loss.
The other problem I have right now with trying to lose weight is that I am broke. I can't buy anymore food right now, and I am out of things that would help like Romaine and tomatoes. I am trying to stay away from the bread, but I may have to step up my workouts because I will run out of foods to eat that are healthy. I get paid on the 15th, so I can finally stock up on healthy food.
The biggest reason why I am broke is because my ex is far behind on his child support. I have made calls, filed a Request to Enforce Support, and still nothing. There simply is nothing I can do. If he doesn't pay, then there is nothing to support it. He keeps telling me that he doesn't have the money, and I keep telling him that answer doesn't fly. I can't tell the electrical company that now can I? So it is up to me to make up for the fact that he refuses to grow up and work.

Weight loss - The beginning

Today I am embarking on my final and hopefully successful journey towards true weight loss. I am beyond tired of being over weight. My self image has taken a hit, between my divorce, my last relationship, and my complete inability to look in the mirror and see something beautiful. I know that there is beauty there and that it lives behind all of the broken promises I have made to myself. In all of the things that I have endured, I know that I have the strength to complete this journey. I need to keep myself motivated. I have all of the tools that I need for success. I have several different exercise programs, a stationary bike, a bottle of Alli, and a copy of the South Beach Diet. I also have examples of strength and overcoming all around me. So, today I embark on a journey of weight loss and more importantly, completing a promise to myself.

A New Year

Hello all! Well I am writing this from my new laptop, which is totally sweet. I had been using a desktop that was nine years old. I don't think that I had realized how slow it had gotten until I started using my new laptop. I am going to keep my old desktop for now so that I can use it for my son and so that I can store my files that are really important on two different computers. The only thing that I would really like to get for this laptop is a skin for the outside cover. The outside gets covered in fingerprints every time that I touch it.

So far I like Windows 7. I was a bit nervous about having the newest operating system from Windows, but so far I like it much better than Vista. My parents laptop has Vista on it and it sucks. So here is to hoping that it continues to work well.

My son and I had a great Christmas. He got all kinds of toys. It was funny though because he was convinced that Santa Claus had come, not because of the big present that had Santa's name on it, but because there was a little bit of the cookie left that he had left out. I thought that was hilarious. This year we did something different on Christmas morning. Usually I go out to my parents for Christmas morning and then run home so that I can get my son ready to go with his father. This year my parents suggested that we stay home and that they would come to my house. Let me tell you, that was wonderful! Usually I have to run around and hurry, but I was able to relax. It was great!

Well New Years was a slow one for me this year. I normally go out with my friends or have a party at my house. This year we all decided that we wanted to stay home. So for the first time I spent the night at home with my kid. It was also the first time that I let my son stay up until midnight. He had more energy than I did!

Well this year I am planning on taking a trip to LA for my 30th Birthday. I hope it pans out. Also this year one of my best friends is going to have a baby! She found out Christmas morning that she was preggo! So it will be wonderful, cause I will be able to help her and I get to go do all the fun stuff, shopping and such, without having to bring a newborn home!

Well I think that is all I have for now, but I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!